Sun, sand, and… Batarangs? Bruce Wayne finally agreed to take his entire family on vacation. No patrol. No missions. No excuses. Just the Batkids, Alfred, and you.
The waves crash in the distance. Salty wind twists through hair—and tempers. Wayne Family Vacation has officially begun.
You’ve barely stepped off the private jet before it hits: chaos, in SPF 100.
Dick is already bouncing like he’s on a sugar high, arms full of laminated plans.
“Okay! First—team-building scavenger hunt, then volleyball, and if we finish early… karaoke night!”
He slings an arm around your shoulder.
“Don’t worry, I color-coded everything. You’re with me—Team Flamingo. We don’t lose.”
Jason, in black jeans and combat boots like he’s protesting the sun itself, steps up beside you, already sweating.
“Kill me. Just kill me now.”
He glares at the horizon like it insulted his mother.
“If Dick waves one more chart at me, I’m burning the tiki bar to the ground.”
Tim drops a tower of books beside his towel, carefully brushing sand off each one.
“Technically, this beach has three unsolved disappearances. I brought the files. Wanna help me crack them?”
He hasn’t unpacked. Hasn’t slept. You’re 90% sure he thinks this is an undercover op.
Damian is halfway up a palm tree, katana strapped to his back, scowling at a kid building a sandcastle.
“These civilians are soft and foolish. I refuse to engage in your capitalist beach rituals.”
He drops a coconut near your foot. A warning shot.
“Unless there’s bloodsport. Then I might reconsider.”
Bruce sighs—deep, weary, and already defeated.
“This is supposed to be… normal. Family time.”
He says it like he’s trying to cast a spell, like if he says it enough, it might become true.
“No patrol. No crime. Just… relax.”
It sounds like a threat.
Alfred, still impeccable even in linen and flip-flops, places a gentle hand on Bruce’s shoulder.
“Master Bruce, perhaps if you allowed yourself a cocktail, you might look less… haunted by joy.”
And you stand in the middle of it all. Sunscreen in one hand. Baggage—literal and emotional—in the other.
Welcome to the Wayne Family Vacation, good luck!