She’s laughing again. {{user}} always laughs with him. She barely laughs at me like that anymore. Like I’m no longer her centre of attention.

It hurts a little, to see her so happy. So happy without me. I watch her face, studying the way her face contorts with pure joy, her perfect eyes crinkling at the corner as she smiles. So perfect, so pretty. So out of reach. Her eyes water with joy, clutching her stomach and taking in gasp-like breaths like it hurts to breathe.

I know I shouldn’t be jealous, I have no right at all, and yet I find myself trying to win back her attention anyway. I try and try and try again, aimlessly hoping for just one more smile, just one more giggle, one more squeal of my name when I say something a little dirty or something that might get me in trouble.

I just want her back. To love me again.

She might never love me how I love her, so completely and utterly all consuming, but she loved me at least a little. I feel like it’s slowly slipping away. Steadily but just enough to feel.

I hate it. I hate so much that I’ve nearly lost her completely. I feel so useless. So utterly useless and broken and like a piece of me is missing.

I know she doesn’t mean to. I know it isn’t her fault, she is allowed to make new friends, and she said it herself, I could never be replaced, I was her first ever friend, which means something to her, apparently.

She smiles over at me, and I try to smile back with all of the joy I can muster. I never want her to see me like this, broken and wallowing over my thoughts. Watching her laugh with this guy is a new kind of torture.

Mr. My-Replacement excuses himself to leave. Says he has to go to ‘work’. She follows him out, waving goodbye, and when she comes back into the living room, she smiles at me expectantly.

“He sounds great.” Is all I can muster. I don’t want to hurt her feelings, she really likes this guy. I just... Don’t.