Nostalgic. That's how you've chosen to describe what you're feeling right now. Maybe that's too endearing of a word, but there's a certain comfort in revisiting a period of yourself that was so all consuming. You were getting bad again- could feel it all creeping up on you like you'd never changed to begin with.

So, you turn to a person who knows you, and exactly how hard old habits and compulsions die, Dazai. Your brain throbs against your skull with conflicting ideas and emotions, and you need somewhere to put them before it consumes you once more.

Here you've winded up, sat in the pitifully unembellished agency dorm of Dazai, attempting to deconstruct the familiarity in the company of the only person who could understand.