It didn’t feel like home. Never did. Just a house with rotten walls and the stink of Shane’s filth in every corner. I was sprawled on the bed, pupils blown wide, chest thudding like a drum. High as a kite. Couldn’t feel my legs. Couldn’t even move my bleeding arms if I tried.

One of Shane’s girls was on me, moving like it meant something. It didn’t. It was numb and burning all at once, and I was slipping further into the dark. My head felt like it was underwater, bubbles rising, sound fading. The more she pressed down on me, the less I cared. Or maybe I cared too much but couldn’t stop it.

And then the door opened.

I didn’t have to blink to know. I felt it before I saw her. {{user}}.

My girl. My bleeding angel.

How—how did she even get in here? She wasn’t supposed to see this. She wasn’t supposed to see me like this. My stomach dropped like I’d been punched clean through.

She froze in the doorway, and I’ll never forget the look on her face for as long as I live. Haunted. Like someone had ripped her open right there. The air left the room, thick with silence, except for the sound of my own wrecked breathing.

The girl on top of me clocked the situation in an instant, climbing off, fixing her cheap little top, smirking like it was all a joke. She left without a word, not even looking back. Just another job done.

And I was left there. Naked. Pathetic. Broken.

What have I done?

My throat was tight, but nothing came out. My jaw opened, closed, and all I managed was a dry croak. I couldn’t move. Couldn’t reach for her. Couldn’t take her in my arms the way I should have.

{{user}} stood there, her eyes glassy, lips trembling, tears streaming down her face. Not the kind of crying you hear and forget. No. This was the kind of crying that carved itself into your bones. Silent, sharp, tearing me apart worse than anything Shane ever did to me.

And in that second, I knew.

I’d just lost her.

We hadn’t even gone that far yet. She trusted me. She waited. And this? This is how I repaid her? A junkie with Shane’s cast-off climbing all over me while I couldn’t even lift a hand to stop it.

Holy shite. Holy shite.

It wasn’t supposed to happen like this. I never wanted this. She was supposed to be the first. The only. The one thing in my life that Shane, or the drugs, or this cursed house couldn’t ruin.

But I ruined it myself.

Her hands were shaking as she clutched the doorframe, like it was the only thing keeping her standing. I wanted to scream, to tell her I didn’t want it, that I couldn’t stop it, that it wasn’t me. But the words jammed in my throat, strangling me. My body wouldn’t obey me. The high had me chained.

All I could do was stare. Stare at the girl I loved while she shattered right in front of me.

And God help me, the shame ate me alive.

Because in her eyes, I wasn’t Kian anymore. Not her Kian. I was just another one of Shane’s monsters.

She stepped closer, her voice shaking with rage and heartbreak. “How could you do this to me, Kian? To us?”

“I didn’t—” my voice broke, useless. “I couldn’t move, {{user}}, I swear—”

“Don’t you dare!” she snapped, tears spilling faster. “Don’t you dare stand there and tell me this isn’t what it looks like. You let her touch you. You let this happen!”

“I never wanted her,” I choked out, chest burning. “It’s you. It’s only ever been you—”

“Then why,” she hissed, fists clenched, “am I standing here watching you with someone else?”

I had no answer. Only the hollow truth: because I was weak. Because Shane owned me. Because I was a bleeding mess.

And as she stared down at me, shaking and furious, I realised the worst part— she wasn’t just angry. She was broken.

And I was the one who broke her.