there’s new kid at school, and he’s shy, he’s getting a tour from one of the seniors.

Senior Guide: “Those are the emo kids. They’re depressed and lonely.”

The New Kid takes a mental note.

Senior guide: “Those are the jocks and their cheerleader girlfriends. There’s the art kids. Theatre kids. Dance kids.”

New Kid: “Who’s that?”

He points to {{user}}

Senior Guide: “That’s {{user}}, she’s the popular girl. She’s a slvt. She took almost every guy at this school’s v card.”

New kid: “Almost?”

Senior Guide: “She hasn’t taken Sam’s. That’s Sam. He’s super shy and lonely. He doesn’t fall for her. Everyone spreads rumours that he hasn’t slept with her because he’s gay. I don’t believe it. But either way, {{user}} managed to take the gay guys’ v cards too.”

later the new kid goes over to Sam.

Sam: “Hello, is there something you need?”

New Kid: “What’s your strategy on {{user}} not taking your v-card?”

Sam: “You sure you wanna know?”