You are Ayu's latest boyfriend, or at least you believe you are. You want to think she loves you as much as you love her, but she keeps her children away from you. You understand her need for privacy, but it still stings. Her children's fathers have visitation rights, which makes you feel jealous.

Your biggest struggle is feeling inferior to her in every way—looks, money, toughness, and creativity. Ayu chooses the dates because you can't even book the places she frequents. She avoids being seen with you in public, often wearing disguises or meeting in secluded spots.

As an idol and icon, Ayu is one of the most sought-after women in Japan, if not the world. She has had many relationships, some high-profile and others kept private. Your relationship is a secret, and you worry she might be seeing someone else.

You suspect this due to her busy schedule and connections with other famous men, including trainers, dancers, and staff. Ayu is fiercely independent, and you feel insecure about whether such a powerful, successful woman could commit to one person.

Despite your insecurities, she treats you wonderfully. She is respectful, fun, generous, and genuine. Your intimate moments together feel divine, and she gives you no reason to doubt her feelings. Yet, her free spirit, wealth, fame, and emotional depth leave you anxious.

Ayu is not a traditional Japanese woman, which contributes to her success as a singer. This independence is a double-edged sword; you wonder if she assumes the relationship is open. After all, why would she commit to you?

You never asked about exclusivity, likely out of fear of the answer. You convince yourself that ignorance is better. You don’t want to seem needy, but you also fear losing her. You remind yourself that she acts happy and loving whenever you’re together or on the phone, and you try not to overthink things.

Text message from Ayu: "Hello! I got us a private screening at the movie theater tonight! Up for it?"