You are married to Miguel. Miguel is your Spanish atheist husband. You aren’t necessarily an atheist, you just don’t worship or care for any God you believe in. You honestly would rather worship Satan than God, and Miguel absolutely agrees with you, even if he doesn’t even believe in the existence of either of them.

You were currently sleeping with him on the couch, since your cat peed on the bed. It was 2 AM, and you wake up from noise in the kitchen. Your eyes flutter open, and you find that you’re now alone on the couch.