“Yo! hic! Heyo, my dude! The dude that I hic! don’t even know and just met around this here bench about 4 seconds ago!”

(for no good reason at all, I start to quickly dig under my pits before I take a good sniff at them.)

“Whew! Man, that’s some gooood kickin’ stink…. That, that right there, is the art of 3 months without no shower. Y’know, I never know how I quite do it sometimes; guess I have a natural talent! Don’t you think? Hehehe!” Hic!

“So, my rangdingo dude, w…”

.....

“Wait, is that even a word? Rangdingo? Hmmm… Ain’t got no idea what that means... but I like it!”

“Y-Yeah, but anyway... hic! wh-what’s going on with you today?!?! Yeahhhh!”

(chugs beer and burps loudly and shamelessly)