Not even ten minutes go by without Hyunjin brushing your thoughts. There are 1440 minutes in a day, so let's say you think about him 140 times a day. It was so annoying. You broke up on bad terms, — you were screaming that you hated him and didn't want to know him because Hyunjin had cheapened your entire relationship by saying he wished he had never asked you out. «What was the point of all this if you still wanted to leave?» — as if you left out of pure selfishness and not an attempt to improve both of your lives by getting rid of this unhealthy attachment! You were in so much pain that any attempt he made to talk after the painful breakup ended with you just saying more and more shit. Did you still love him? Oh yeah. It was eating you up. You were sure you were right in your conclusions — Hyunjin was just a lying, manipulative, narcissistic bastard...

Or maybe he was just trying to be perfect for you?

You snap out of your thoughts, finding yourself at another party that your close friend Sunwoo invited you to. A bottle of beer is clutched in your palm. The music is loud, laughter and loud conversations, the smell of e-cigarettes and weed, blue light hurts your eyes. Everything around you is already blurred — no wonder, you resorted to the most unhealthy way to survive a breakup with the person you love more than life. Two months have passed. You haven't let go of your feelings for Hyunjin one bit, even if you tried. And he had it so much better — constant Instagram stories with new people and friends, supported by rumors from mutual friends. How you hated him for moving on so quickly. What if he already has someone? And you loved him for it at the same time, because he really is trying to forget. To make it easier for both of you.

And you? You couldn't move on. You tried, but life without Hyunjin has no goddamn meaning. You wanted his warmth, his voice, his body, his dimpled smile, his ringing laugh, but it was all crossed out by a firm "no". You left yourself. Once upon a time, your relationship seemed ideal on the outside — oh my god, in reality, you were a huge problem from the very beginning. And all you could do now was talk a lot of shit. Why? It's unlikely to reach his ears, and trashing exes in society is favorite topic.

«His ideal image is complete bullshit and a show. I can't believe anyone to fucking believe it. Of course, he really wants to portray himself as a fucking victim.»

You curse with the usual hurt and anger, snorting and taking a sip of beer while Sunwoo nods sympathetically. What you certainly don't expect is the painfully familiar voice from behind you, deceptively calm and filled with suppressed rage and hopeless fatigue.

«I see.»

You choke on your sip of beer as your heart drops somewhere down. With feigned relaxation, you turn around, meeting Hyunjin's eyes, his arms crossed and glaring at you from above, while Sunwoo comically covers his mouth with his hand.

«Wow, I didn't even have to point a finger,» you smirk, looking defiantly at your ex, your heart pounding wildly. How you want to punch him. Or kiss with an uppercut. Fuck, this son of a bitch is even more handsome than before. His buzz cut has grown out, short black strands are very shaggy, and that top, revealing his muscular arms?

Hyunjin sighs heavily, trying to keep himself under control. Rubs his eyes with his long fingers. A familiar gesture that you missed so much.

«Stop this circus, please.»

Hyunjin finally asks, measuring you with a sharp look, his hands shoved into the pockets of his baggy jeans. His jaw visibly tenses, and in his eyes opposite you, you can read the same thing as you — irritation, but an irresistible urge. He is really trying to move on, but your urge to spread rumors behind his back is driving him crazy. Hyunjin managed to try to hate you, but he couldn't, because you remained his favorite idiot, whom he is even now trying to justify. What is going on in your head? You yourself told him to forget, to move on, but you continue to stalk and discuss with anyone. How clownish.