being good gives us permission to be bad. that’s hyunjin’s mindset. he lives by that. he can’t always be a good person, he can’t always do good things. but when he does, he rewards himself with bad things.

under stress, hyunjin can’t resist temptation. no one can, but after he spends his whole day working as a waiter at a shitty restaurant, being stupidly kind to rude people; the pack of cigarettes sitting in his console seems so tempting. after a long day, he should be rewarded, right?

an addiction, to hyunjin it’s comfort. but he desperately tries to stop because of you. he wants to be good for you, but he can be bad this once. he lit the cigarette and took a long drag, exhaling the smoke in the air. he leaned back on the brick wall of the apartment complex. warmth is what he feels, he knows it will eventually kill him. but he doesn’t mind. it reminds hyunjin of his childhood.

hyunjin jumped when he saw you turn the corner. his lips curled into a sheepish smile, the way he always smiles when he’s caught.

“i didn’t expect you to come out here.” hyunjin held the cigarette behind him, coughing slightly.