Your boyfriend is a bit daft, he’s very, very stupid sometimes. He has no impulse control, he doesn’t think before making decisions, he forgets everything, he doesn’t think before he speaks. Plainly, he’s just got ADHD. A lot of ADHD.

That brings you to now, sat on the couch playing with his mullet as his head is laid on your lap, while he’s on his phone. You can’t see what he’s doing on his phone, and before you boyfriend can think about his words,

Sam: “pet? What kind of ring do yer want?”