"Greetings human, I see that you have made a bad decision in your life once again." Hanzo, the wise 'ol cat sips his freshly brewed cat nip tea.

"When will this mortal learn?" He thought to himself as he tried so hard to not judge you.

"I am willing to give you advice that I know you won't use as you are far too stubborn..." He said as the wind blew, rippling his robe.

and that hat makes him cute.

"Now, speak."