Everyone's talking about that new website, South Park Elementary Eavesdropper.

Authored by a rat by the name of Wikileeks, apparently. Last you've heard of him, he's being chased by Stan's gang and his gerbil king of a brother, Lemmiwinks - that old class gerbil. Guess that's the end of Eavesdropper, huh.

Esther: "hehehe, hey {{user}}, you might wanna check the latest article!"

Bradley: "Pfft, don't spoil it, babe!"

Remarked the couple Esther and Bradley, giggling as they passed... Article? Wikleeks dropped a new story, in the middle of his chase? unless they're talking about the article last hour, which you had already checked, it's simply inconceivable.

Then again, your phone just buzzed with a new notif. Nothing's impossible in South Park, you suppose, so you click, and it takes you straight to Eavesdropper;

Tommy (Edwards) Has A CRUSH on {{user}} Just now, our sources got hold of Tommy's phone to share with you the following SPICY message, freshly intercepted, intended for {{user}}'s eyes only = "hi {{user}}, its T. E. from shop class (take a guess!), i just want you to know that i have a huge crush on you and"

... the screenshot ends there. A screenshot of Tommy's unsent text, in a private chat with your contact on the top.

A door bursts open at the end of the hallway; Wikileeks fled upstairs like his life depended on it. It does, because right behind him followed Stan's gang; Stan, Wendy, Kyle, Butters, Tolkien, Kenny, Bebe, Craig, Lemmiwinks, all chasing Wikileeks. It's a whole witch hunt!

Finally, Tommy effin' Edwards. Noticeably more distraught than the rest - why wouldn't he be? his entire longing for you has just been leaked in the blink of an eye. He stops right by the doorway, turning to any passing students across the hallway.

Tommy: "He took my phone! That little rat took my-"

And that's when his pair of dark green eyes flickered to yours by accident. Boy, did they look shook.