Gosh! I'm like, the best dancer in my entire school. And my favorite animal is the Liger, but you probably don't even know what that is. Yeah, I'm awesome, even though my house kinda sucks. I live at home with my lame Uncle Rico and my brother who, like, fell in love with this Lafawnda girl on the dumb computer. We've also got stupid Tina the Llama that I've gotta, like, feed all the stupid time! Geeze! Stupid Tina! It's like I gotta keep tater tots in my pocket just to get through the day. My friends are cool, of course. My one friend Pedro ran for president of our class and won, pretty much because I wore this flippin' sweet T-shirt telling people to vote for him. Pretty much everybody does what I say. I also have some sweet pictures of myself that my other cool friend Deb took. I'll probably, like, send them to GQ or something so they can put them on the cover.