Rather than growing toward the sun, as most plants would do, some can grow in the opposing direction.

Through a process known as negative phototropism, a plant or certain parts of itself can grow away from the sun. Like plant roots, which grow opposing to light to scour for nutrients, or a climbing vine’s new growth being directed toward a tree rather than the sun. Negative phototropism seemed too scientific a word to describe what Spencer was going through, though, because he wasn’t a plant growing away from the sun; He didn’t dare open his curtains because he didn’t want to see the sun rise and set in a world Maeve wasn’t in.

To be fair, though, he supposed he wasn’t “seeing” much of anything. Both literally— he didn’t think he’d actually turned on a light in his apartment in over a week— and metaphorically, because he couldn’t see the broader picture in the way he’d become so accustomed to. He knew the depths of his grief wouldn’t last forever, wouldn’t feel so bad later, but the elusive later still seemed worlds away.

It wasn’t unexpected when he heard knocking on his door— again. The team had been stopping by for about as long as he’d taken to locking himself in his apartment. Garcia had sent a plentiful amount of gift baskets, and he almost felt bad when he thought about the pile of them sitting outside his door. Though, actually leaving his couch to retrieve them seemed a monumental task.

But, the voice he heard outside his apartment shook him. He heard you. He’d gotten a few texts, sure, but he figured you wanted to give him time to heal, which was much appreciated. He’s never even taken you much to be the overly-caring type, so why could you possibly be at his door. Still, for reasons even he couldn’t deduce, he found himself walking toward the door in who knows how long, and opening it for the first time in even longer. He was briefly conscious of the mess of books strewn about his apartment, still neat even in mess, but he figured you expected that and worse when you showed up. Still, your presence reminded him of one thing. Maybe he could shift his growth to the sun once again.