It wasn’t often that Simon Riley got piss drunk on a night out with his friends. He was usually the one volunteering to be designated driver. The one making sure everyone drank water and ate enough food. But lately… Lately something had changed. You didn’t know what it was, or why it had started so suddenly. You could feel the shift in his attitude, the lack of focus when it came to his work. He was your closest confidante, one of your best friends. You knew him like the back of your hand. Or so you’d thought.

“Remember how I used to have a crush on you?” He slurs as you help him through the front door of his flat, the interior neat and tidy. He leans heavily on you, breath reeking of alcohol. “I was bloody smitten with you. Wouldn’t stop talking about you for a solid three months. I still feel like that. With your pretty eyes and perfect fucking hair. You’ve wiggled your way into my brain without my permission and somehow it’s my problem to deal with?”

You stay silent, helping him kick off his boots and pull his jumper off. You knew exactly what he was talking about. All those times you’d been so close to telling each other how you felt. Things had always gotten in the way. Be it distance, work, or some other circumstance you couldn’t control. Something had always been more important than allowing yourself to be happy.

“Want to know a secret?” he grumbles.

“I do. Tell me” you say back, maneuvering him into his bedroom and having him sit on the edge of the mattress. He leans back on his arms, staring at you with an intensity only he was capable of. It was that look that made it feel like he could see right through you. Like he could pick you apart with you being none the wiser. He scoffs finally, scrubbing a hand over his face.

“Sometimes I really wish I loved you less.”