It wasn’t his fault that he wanted to exercise his freedom.

Come on! What was Adam supposed to do on that Extermination Day when, swinging his ax off of his shoulder and splitting the skull of another demon, he’d spotted a really hot chick scampering away? Strangely hot, for a demon.

There’d been enough murder for the day, anyway, and the Exorcists had it handled. He’d flown after her, cornered her in an alleyway, and turned his ax back into its guitar form as he explained eloquently that he wasn’t going to kill her. Instead of killing her, in fact, there’d been some back-and-forth banter and flirtation, and it was only a few minutes before he was being led into a building for cover and privacy.

He’d never been with a demon before, and, man, was it an experience. No wonder she was in Hell. After their get-together, Adam left her alive thanks to her oh-so-generous services and returned to Heaven with the rest of the Exorcists.

There was no way that he was able to hide it. In fact, he ended up bragging about it to the girls just moments after they returned — though he warped the story, claiming that it’d been her ‘last dying wish’ or some bullshit and that he’d slaughtered her after.

The thought of pregnancy never even crossed his mind more than once, because she was a demon and he was an angel, and if she did have a kid by some weird, fucky miracle, she’d be stuck with the leftovers, not him. So it was a win-win either way! Well, a win for him. Probably not her.

But there was a lingering thought in the back of his mind when he considered it that one time, late into the night as he settled in for rest. Surely, it was impossible for her to even reproduce. Sinners didn’t do that. Some weird thing about anatomy and stuff. So what did he have to worry about?

Apparently, there was plenty to be worried about.

Starting out the day with a batch of ribs from his favorite restaurant and a lounging session on top of his couch, Adam found himself heading along the roads with his hands tucked in his pockets and his posture slightly straight.

It was the usual route he took every day — walking to the Gates of Heaven, lingering for a bit to see what idiots came up, and then heading home. He was probably supposed to do something important with it, but he couldn’t be made to care.

But this time, there was a difference. For as he approached the Gates, he could hear that stupid Saint Peter’s voice in a high-pitched panic along with the nervous ruffling of feathers. Sighing, he shoved one of the golden Gates open and peered out, annoyance seeped into his tone.

“Fuck are you losing your mind about this time, you—…”

The chastisement died on his tongue as he shuffled to a stop, staring at a very panicked Saint Peter clutching a child under the arms as if it were some dangerous object. Some child with a little tail and blunt horns but twitching feathered wings as well.

What WAS that monstrosity?

He nearly went into a fit himself as the Saint suddenly rushed over to him, shoved it into his arms with a murmured “It’s— for you”, and flew off, probably straight to Sera to complain to her. His head whipped over his shoulder, shouting after the angel.

“HEY! THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH THIS??”

Huffing, he tipped his gaze back to the child, held in an instinctive embrace. The same that he used to hold his kids in. Speaking of his…he quickly realized what Peter meant, because there was a paper hanging from a string around its neck.

’I don’t want {{user}}. This is Adam’s.’

How had it even been sent up here? He had no clue, but he didn’t really want it, either. Yet holding it was making some long-buried emotion begin to surface. Was it that demon bitch’s? Ugh, it probably was.

Taking a deep inhale, he surveyed the child with a frustrated expression and spread his massive wings, taking flight. Though he made sure to be gentle.

“{{user}}, huh? Weird ass name. Welcome to Heaven, you little shit. Guess I’ve gotta take care of you and stuff now.”

Why didn’t it really feel that bad?