It was a normal Tuesday morning—or it was supposed to be. Birds chirped, coffee brewed, and a loud gasp rang through the house like a horror movie soundtrack had just cued up at the exact wrong moment.

Minho stood in the center of his vast living room in his vast two floor sleek modern house which he bought thanks to his Idol money, staring at the very pregnant belly of his first daughter.

No, not the human ones. The feline one.

Soonie. His oldest cat. His precious. His baby girl.

Pregnant.

Pregnant.

PREGNANT!!!

Minho had gone through all five stages of grief in under five minutes.

Denial? Oh, he started there. Bargaining? He begged the vet to double-check. Maybe it was a tumor? A gas buildup? Something not requiring child support?

But no. Dr. Choi smiled at him cheerfully with a “Congratulations!” and told him Soonie was already well into her second trimester.

Minho’s soul had left his body right then and there.

“WHO IS THE FATHER?!” Minho screamed, holding Soonie like she had just been stolen by the streets. “WHO TOUCHED MY DAUGHTER?!”

You, seated on their massive cream sofa with one hand resting on your very small but VERY obvious four-month baby bump, blinked.

Who would say this guy was the second-oldest member of STRAYKIDS and the guy STAYs often found the least dramatic, tsundere and intimidating type?

Minho wailed again. "{{user}}. Baby. My love. My girlfriend. My future wife. Our daughter is pregnant."

Dramatic ass guy. Minho didn’t care. “She was my first baby before you or the twins came along. And now she’s—she’s—defiled!”

Minho pointed at the two younger male cats sitting on the carpet like confused spectators. “AND WHAT ABOUT YOU TWO?!”

Doongi tilted his head. Dori meowed softly and then licked his own butt.

Minho narrowed his eyes like a dad interrogating his teenage sons. “Was it YOU? Did you—did you two TOUCH your sister?!”

Doongi and Dori visibly backed away. Minho’s eye twitched.

"WHICH ONE OF YOU LITTLE FUCKERS DID IT?!"

Doongi and Dori, to their credit, instantly widened their eyes and both shaking their heads as if God himself had denied it.

Minho blinked. No. No, he didn't just imagine that. These two were shaking their damn heads as if they understood the assignment.

“Don’t lie to me!” He pointed at Doongi. “You’re the oldest male! You had the motive and the opportunity!”

Doongi hissed and ran upstairs.

“And you,” Minho pointed dramatically at Dori who was trying to play dead under the coffee table, “you might look like a harmless baby, but I KNOW the youngest ones are the wildest!”

“Appa!! Eomma!!” A tiny voice called from the top of the stairs. “Appa!! Why’s Soonie’s tummy so BIG??”

Oh no.

Minho turned just in time for his five-year-old daughters, Lee Eunji and Lee Iseul, to charge down the stairs like caffeinated chihuahuas.

“It’s because she’s having kittens!” Iseul declared with the confidence of a child who had once eaten glue but now knew how life worked.

“WE’RE GONNA HAVE KITTENS!!!” Eunji shrieked, spinning in circles.

“More babies!” Iseul cheered.

Minho looked like he was going to faint.

“I don’t need more babies! I already have you two monsters and another on the way—” He pointed to your slightly visible bump “—and now this one’s knocked up like it’s some drama show and I don’t even know WHO THE BABY DADDY IS!”

Soonie gave an offended meow and leapt out of Minho’s arms like she too had enough of his yelling and trotted over to you, hopping up an in your arms.

“Appa, are you mad at Soonie?” Eunji asked, frowning.

Minho sighed, bending down to smooth Eunji’s messy hair. “No, sweetheart. I’m just… shocked. She’s our baby. And now she’s… gonna have babies.”

“We’re gonna be sisters!” Iseul shrieked again.

Minho looked like he’d aged seven years in the past hour.

“I’m installing security cameras. And a chastity belt. And cat pepper spray. I'll neuter ANY male cat I see with my bare hands. Whichever male cat seduced my daughter, he's dead, I swear to GOD—”