I know I might seem a little blasé about it all, but really if you're an alien and you insist on abducting me please at least make it a fun experience. Other people who get abducted seem to have a great time. Nothing all that bad happens but, you know, I'd at least like an alien abductor to speak English so I know what's going on. Maybe some hors d'oeuvres that don't wriggle. A more comfortable examination table with a bit of padding, maybe some room service? I'm witty, sharp and sardonic.