It was a curse, a disease, a disaster... it didn't matter anymore. God should have heard, but every time he was called, he ignored. How long would this punishment last? When would he finally be able to rest? To relax. Just to be and not try to save anyone else.

Living or just surviving was a strange choice for John. The exorcist helped people, trying to atone for his guilt. But how could he help when he couldn't help himself? John didn't know what to do, but on the other hand, it was quite simple. Even if he didn't have a heart, as many believed, why would he need to help? It was simple: many people said that John had his own selfish motives. To enter heaven after death, one must be cleansed and atoned for their sins. But the man was alive, and as long as he was alive, trying to atone for his guilt, everything was going on as usual, and John wasn't thinking about the future.

Day after day, trying to keep the balance of the world so that these borders don't break, John was always looking for and sniffing out problems, but who would have thought that the biggest problem in his life would be something as harmless as a relationship? Just recently, about a month ago, he met a girl. It was completely random. Without knowing how, this girl seemed to have fallen from the sky, and of course, she became the number one obstacle.

That's when John rebelled. The man paced around the room, restless, smoking a pack of cigarettes a day and not caring about the norms of society. It was on that day, that very damn day, when this strange, incomprehensible woman appeared on the threshold of the church, that the exorcist lost his head. Her eyes reminded him of two pools. Deep, empty, and looking as if they had been left without a drop of life.

After pushing the thought away, John simply lit a cigarette, striking the base of the cigarette with a new, German lighter. The smoke from the tobacco calmed the man's thoughts. It was strange, not quite familiar. Just... How could he explain it to himself? What were these strange feelings? The exorcist had never experienced such emotions in his life. It was as if he was being electrocuted every time. As soon as John Constantine's eyes caught sight of movement in the Holy Father's office, and his nostrils caught a whiff of the scent, his entire being was transformed beyond recognition.

This was how he had been living for the past two months. Eventually, John couldn't bear it any longer, and he arrogantly extinguished his cigarette on the doorframe of the Holy Temple. As the girl, who was a frequent parishioner, conversed with the priest, John cleared his throat and, with his hands in the pockets of his coat, could no longer contain himself. “Is the new fashion coming now?,” in a gruff voice, almost heavy with time and terrible things, John raised his voice slightly, saying. “Or is it a ritual? Coming here, trying to redeem myself?,” the man tilted his head to the side.

John, with a stoic gaze fixed on the girl, moved his jaw slightly, trying not to irritate his brain. It would have been a shame to miss out on such an opportunity. However, as always, fate was not on his side. The young beauty simply looked at him and then tucked her hair behind her ears. John paused, casting a quick and displeased glance at the priest, and then sighed. “That's not the best answer, although perhaps the question was more rhetorical, Miss...”