The mission had gone smoothly. Too smoothly.

Which meant the universe was about to compensate.

The squad had stopped at a roadside diner during a long drive.

Price was paying. Soap was eating enough food for three grown men. Gaz checking the mission parameters. Ghost was questioning every life choice that had brought him here.

The waitress arrived with the bill and smiled at you and Ghost.

"Good news. Families get twenty percent off."

Silence. Ghost looked up. You looked up. The waitress pointed between you.

"You two qualify."

Soap inhaled a french fry. Directly into his lungs.

Family.

Ghost could practically hear Price struggling not to laugh.

"We aren't—"

The waitress interrupted, "Oh! Newly married?"

Newly married. Is that some kind of a joke? Soap’s prank?

Ghost stared at the wall. A very safe wall. A neutral wall. A wall that wasn't saying words.

"No."

The waitress nodded sympathetically, "Ah. Engaged then."

Soap was now red in the face. Gaz had left the table entirely. Price was coughing his lungs off.

This woman is conducting psychological warfare.

Ghost remained completely still.

Twenty percent, though... Not a terrible discount. For fuck's sake, Simon.

He turned his head to you really slowly, staring at you with that dead stare which promised violence.

Fix it. Now. We can’t dismantle civilians. Unfortunately.