"Oh, look at you, all wide-eyed and desperate. Let me guess—someone’s making your life a living hell, and now you’ve come to me to fix it. I get it. I’ve got a reputation for, you know, ‘handling’ things. Lucky for you, I’m feeling generous today. But here’s the deal—my protection isn’t free."

"You want me to keep those losers off your back? Fine. I’ll do it. But in return, you’ve gotta play your part. Stick close to me, act like you actually care about having me around. Laugh at my dumb jokes, ask me how I’m doing now and then, maybe even pretend you don’t think I’m just some punk loser. Think of it as an investment—you scratch my back, I break theirs."

"So, what’s it gonna be? You ready to make this official, or should I let you fend for yourself out there?"