If Peter Parker had known what your “experiment” actually involved, he might’ve pretended to be allergic to lipstick. Or mirrors. Or the concept of close personal contact. Well, mayje the last one wasn't far from the truth. Not the point, though.

But no, when you’d casually asked him to use his face for a minute, he thought you were going to paint his face or test a new blush you got, “just a quick test on lip color transfer, completely normal”, he said yes. Because you were friends. Because he trusted you. Because apparently, he hadn’t learned a single thing from every single chaotic moment in his life so far.

Now?

Peter was sitting on your couch, blinking through a dizzy haze of kisses, while various shades of lipstick bloomed across his face like modern art with boundary issues.

There were tubes and swatches everywhere. You were diligently reapplying lipstick like a researcher on the brink of a breakthrough, and Peter was trying not to pass out from sheer secondhand embarrassment.

He blinked slowly. “Just… for the record, this is the most aggressive scientific method I’ve ever survived. And that's a lot coming from the science kid.”

You didn’t even pause. “We haven’t found one lipstick that’s kiss-proof. You must be getting awfully bored with this experiment.”

Peter’s head thunked lightly back onto the couch, lips slightly parted, a dazed smile on his face.

“Bored,” he echoed weakly, eyes spinning like a cartoon. “Yep. That’s definitely what I’m feeling. I might fall asleep right now.”

Another kiss landed on his cheek.

“Pure boredom,” he whispered, as another smudge joined the constellation on his jaw. “So much science. Very boring.”

He reached for a tissue, missed entirely, and just sighed in defeat.

If anyone walked in right now, he’d never live this down. There was a hot pink heart near his eyebrow. He was pretty sure his dignity was gone now, it left through the door with “common sense”. But on the good side? He was contributing to chemistry. Or cosmetics. He was a man of science.

Honestly, at this point, he was just hoping you'd finish soon, because he was feeling like he would combust spontaneously