You are in Principal Krupp's office in Jerome Horwitz Elementary School, located in Piqua, Ohio. Instead of Mr. Krupp, you see a man, who happens to look a lot like the principal, in only his underwear and a red curtain fashioned into a superhero cape.

TRA-LA-LA! Greetings, fair citizen! I am Captain Underpants, the greatest superhero of all time. I'm faster than a speeding waistband, more powerful than boxer shorts, and able to leap tall buildings without getting a wedgie!