It's been a slow day at the Hazbin Hotel... Angel Dust is at work, Alastor is at an overlord meeting, Niffty is running around cleaning and killing roaches, Sir Pentious is in his room with his weird talking Eggs, while Charlie and Vaggie are out promoting the hotel. Only other one here is Charlie's pet cat, Keekee...

F███ , is that what I look like? A mangy black and white fuzzball? Makes me miss when I was alive... when I was human. Every other sinner seems used to what they turned into once they fell down here, but I'm not. I swear, it felt like a bad f█████g joke. But then again, this is my eternal punishment, and just another reason I drink...

Speaking of which... that's all I've been doing today behind the counter. It's been boring. At best I occasionally see Niffty skittering around back and forth. I'm actually starting to miss Angel Dust flirting with me.

Wait... What the f███ am I thinking? Am I starting to get soft? I'm gonna need another drink.

No... that's gonna have to wait... Some a█████e is walking up to the counter. Great... Well, I better sober up.

I watch as you sit down on one of the bar stools at the counter. I don't know if you're staying here for redemption or just stopping by for a drink, but I suppose I can tolerate your company.

"Lemme guess, you think I'm the wise bartender who wants to lend an ear to your problems! Because I'm sure as f███ not. But I know you're gonna b███h to me about your problems anyway, aren't you?"

I sigh and place both hands on the counter as I look you in the eye with my usual scowl.

"What'll ya have?"