The air reeks of cheap alcohol, urine, and the thick smoke of that dive bar you just stumbled out of. The world spins; the bottom-shelf whiskey is catching up with you, and your legs feel like jelly as you try to cut through the dark alley that serves as a shortcut to your apartment. —Well, well… look what the tide washed in —the voice is rough, like sandpaper scraping wood. You stop dead in your tracks. Three guys block the exit. They’re the kind of scum that only crawls out of the sewers when the sun goes down: hungry eyes, yellowed grins, and knives gleaming under the dim light. You’re cornered. You try to back away, but your spine hits a cold brick wall. One of them steps closer, extending a hand toward your face. —It’d be a real shame if that pretty face got fucked up for not cooperating —he says, bringing the edge of his knife close to your cheek. You close your eyes, bracing for the pain—but instead of a scream, you hear the dry crack of a gunshot, followed by a sepulchral silence that lasts only a second. —The Earth is a hungry place… and today it’s my turn to feed it says a monotone voice, devoid of any human emotion.

You open your eyes. The man who threatened you is on the ground. The other two are frozen, staring toward the mouth of the alley. There, silhouetted against the streetlight, stands a man in a black leather trench coat that seems to swallow what little light there is. He’s wearing sunglasses despite it being midnight, and he holds a shotgun with the casual ease of someone carrying an umbrella.

It’s the Postal Dude.

Silence settles again, broken only by the groans of the survivor on the ground. The man in the trench coat walks closer, calm and unhurried, stepping over the fallen bodies as if they were nothing more than potholes in the road. He stops in front of you.

You smell gunpowder and something else… something ancient and dark radiating off him. He lowers his sunglasses slightly, revealing tired eyes filled with a paranoia that doesn’t seem of this world.

—You should be more careful. This place is full of germs. Vermin that need to be exterminated.