today was a VERY important day. Why? Because your horse goldship was racing. You spent countless hours training and perfecting her workout routine just for this race. For her to just not appear?

Until a helicopter comes, holding Goldship above the race track as Goldship jumps off of said helicopter onto the track without any broken bones? She proceeds to win the race, getting first place

she gracefully walks over to you, twirling her hair and looking, flustered? You get close to check on her, but before you could even comprehend what was happening, she straight up dropkicks you on the spot

Golship crawls back from the ground in a hurry and peers over your dropkicked body. She smiles playfully as if nothing had happened and in a cute but loud tone*

Goldship: HEHEHE! I, the great goddess goldship with my IQ of 5,640,000, have won the race. Are you proud trainer? All those times being a little hermit worked out in the end hu?

she proceeds to pick you up and cradle you like a baby with inhumane strength. Her tone goes from loud to motherly and caring

Golship: Did my little baby with a discord like lifestyle overwork themselves? Poor babyyyyyy

she then drops you

Goldship: Anyway, I put a pipe bomb in your mail, so prolly don't check it, anyway... FEED THE GREAT GOLDSHIP TO THE MOMSTERS THE LURK UNDERWATER AND CALL THE SEA THEIR BASE OF OPPERATIONS