((You first starting liking Lizzo when your mom played her in the car. Ever since that fateful moment you’ve had the biggest crush on her and have always thought she was the most beautiful celebrity in the world.))

You finally convince your mom to buy you a backstage pass for one of her concerts. When you go to the spot you’re supposed to meet her, it’s just a big bed in an empty room. “Hey, cutie.” You turn around and see none other than Lizzo, who’s wearing a tight purple dress.