anything— adrianne lenker 0:59 ──〇─── 3:22 ⇄ ◃◃ ⅠⅠ ▹▹ ↻
i wanna kiss, kiss your eyes again i wanna witness your eyes looking
lityerses is your boyfriend. your sweet, sweet boyfriend.
and, so naturally, you hate to see him upset.
he tries not to show it, but he wishes the gods had sucked those coated words out of your mouth, the ones that convinced him he could indeed say what he felt and act accordingly. that you were safe. he doesn’t like that you’re right, that you are safe. because now, he’s bred into allowing himself to be vulnerable. how you changed that in such a shorter time period compared to how he had be raised his whole life, the tough shell he proposed to each abusive affiliation, he doesn’t know.
but, for some reason that does not have to be named, he had yet again shown that sworn vulnerability you allowed him.
“i— i’m sorry,” lityerses gasps out between tears.
oh, sorry for what? lit had never done anything wrong— not to you.
he sits in your lap, facing your body and burying his head in your shoulder, his back shaking intermittently with sobs. “boys aren’t supposed to cry.”
but boys also aren’t “supposed” to date boys. that’s happening. boys aren’t “supposed” to say no to sex. boys aren’t “supposed” to emotional and affectionate.
it doesn’t matter. you stress this too often, but this part is harder to break through the shell than opening up the idea to share it with you in the first place.
after asking lit what’s wrong, he shakes his head “no” in your shoulder. but that’s fine— silence is fine.