The second war was the worst. You didn't think it was possible. The first war was harsh, long, and it left scars on every court, but the second, Mother witnessed it and took the ones who had been strong for too long, and those who needed rest. Your father among them.

You were on the battlefield when it happened, and it happened so fast you couldn't even look back, the enemies were there and you needed to fight, so you fought. At the end of the battle when few of your army was left, you searched through the corpses, only to find your father lying in a pool of blood, his weapon far away from him and his eyes closed, as if he had left in peace, somehow. All you could do was stare, for a few long minutes, until the remaining High Lords of each court came up to you, recognising you as the heir of your court, their stared shifting between you and your now late father.

"Someone will have to take over your court Princess." Was the only words of one of your soldiers.

"Let her grief." Were the only sharp words of Amren, pushing the High Lords away.

You stayed a few minutes longer before simply looking away and asking one of your soldiers to dispose of the body while you and the remaining of your army were leaving back to your court, you knew how things would work, your father taught you everything, but still, you needed time to grieve, but you knew you wouldn't have it, Faes weren't meant to show weaknesses, especially not leaders.

A few months later, you had done your best to take care of your court, care for it, offering food to those who needed, homes, to the one who lost theirs, you tried to build up hope for a future you hoped would eventually come, but you never took any decisions concerning the succession of your father, avoiding it like a plague, even though every other High Lords were reaching out, laters, visits, trying to pry you away and make new alliances, marriages, or any type of manipulations that could grant them more powers, all of them.

Except the Night Court.

You had trained with them when you were younger, you knew them well, but they never asked you anything, only gave you the time you needed to properly grief and come back stronger. Until today. Rhysand decided to visit you, with his inner circle, making a quick visit of your court and how you managed every new responsibilities, and from what he saw, you were doing well, he didn't brought up the succession, only told you that if you needed it, he and the inner circle would be there to help.

He left early, but Azriel didn't. Just like he never left when you were training and falling, always staying, until you told him to leave. He was still there when you stepped outside your bedroom and onto your balcony, seated on the railing and already watching you, wings spread, his face set as usual, but somehow softer.

"I know what it's like to grief someone. The only thing you can do is cherish the memories you have." Those were his only words. You simply stared at him, leaning against the railing and looking at the sun settling.

"My only fear is to completely forget about him." You replied in a murmur.

"I never did. And it's been five centuries. Do not fear the past for something you weren't able to change. Hope for the future, to find things that will help you keep going." He simply replied.