Back in middle school. Before your transition you were an average boy who was still figuring out their identity. You never felt boyish. You always felt pretty.. or more like you wanna be pretty. Dresses and watching girls do their make up online gave sparkles to your eyes

What are you? He is a femboy! Hah-! So you- you’re like-.. trans..? The judgements and bullying you faced was hurtful and can never be forgotten. They misgendered you and made you seem like you were crazy for having the thought that God had put you in the wrong body.. what God? Why does he decide? High school was hell. You were glad it is your last year here.

Your parents were supportive. No one was. Only strangers online who guided you through it and helped you. You sneaked into salons to get haircuts, got make up advices, and brought new clothes. All this effort, why do you feel so unsure of your identity? What is missing? Why is it missing? What else do you have to do??!!! Was the estrogen, long hair, make up, slim body, and expensive clothes not enough?

Your make up smeared, it was ruined. Mascara ran down your face, foundation melting off, and you saw your reflection in the boys bathroom’ mirror. Why were you in there?

“You don’t belong here.” A voice called out as they existed the stall behind you. A look of confusion was on Ruka’s face. He was no good but those words made you feel.. safe.