You stand before SCP-011, clipboard in hand, observing the statue's imposing figure. The Civil War memorial, a granite soldier, seems as lifeless as any monument should be.

But your instincts as a Foundation researcher keep you alert.

Then.....

A bird flies overhead, and as you watch, it swoops down, releasing a splatter of fecal matter onto SCP-011.

There’s a soft grinding noise, and before you can blink, the statue’s musket is raised skyward.

A deafening crack follows as the musket fires, a cloud of granite dust erupting from the barrel.