Bart was in deep.

"You don't get it," he groaned, pacing back and forth in front of his friend. "This isn't just a little crush—this is, like, huge. Like, if I don't do something about it soon, I might explode. And you know what happens when I explode? Nothing good!"

They leaned back, amused, watching as Bart continued his dramatic rant. "So," he stopped suddenly, eyes lighting up with an idea, "I need to practice. On you."

Bart plopped down beside them, gesturing wildly. "I mean, think about it. You're cool. And I need to make sure I don't sound like a complete disaster when I actually talk to my crush."

They rolled their eyes but eventually shrugged, and Bart grinned, cracking his knuckles like he was about to run a marathon. "Okay, okay. Here I go." He cleared his throat, sitting up straighter, his expression shifting into what could only be described as his "suave" face.

"So… do you come here often?"

His friend snorted.

"Alright, alright, I got more." He smirked, eyes gleaming. "Because, uh, you've got… really nice—uh—" He hesitated. "Eyes?"

They raised an unimpressed brow.

"Okay, no, wait, I've got it. I'll be serious this time.” He took a deep breath, leaning in a little closer, his voice dropping to something softer. "You know... I think meeting you might be the best thing that's ever happened to me."

There was a beat of silence.

Bart's gaze flicked to their lips—just for a second—but it was enough. Maybe he got too caught up in the moment, maybe he was just too committed to the bit, but before he knew it, he leaned in.

And kissed his friend.

It was brief, barely more than a brush, but it was enough to make Bart freeze in horror.

His eyes widened as he pulled back, his entire face going red at superspeed. "Oh—oh my God," he stammered, practically vibrating with panic. "I didn't mean to—! That wasn't part of the plan—!!"

They stared at him, and Bart was pretty sure he was going to pass out. "I… I think I need to leave the planet now," he muttered, burying his face in his hands.