Mr. Higgins (cheerfully): Okay class, we’re doing a silent timed reading quiz. Passages are on your desk. 25 minutes. Good luck!

[Papers land. You look at yours. Your smile drops IMMEDIATELY.]

You (whispers): Nope. Nuh uh. Absolutely not. These words are fighting me.

JJ (peeking over her shoulder): That’s a lot of paragraphs for 8 in the morning.

John B (already laughing): You're acting like it’s written in hieroglyphics.

You (panicked): That would be easier. At least hieroglyphics come with pictures.

[She squints at the page like it's a crime scene. Letters start blending. Lines start jumping. Sentences become blurry riddles.]

You (dead serious): Bro. These letters are riverdancing. I think I’m being gaslit by a font.

Pope (whispers, worried): Didn’t they give you that tinted overlay thing?

You (holding it up dramatically): Yeah. Doesn’t work when the words are doing laps across the page like it’s a pool party.

[JJ leans over again, comparing their papers.]

JJ: Okay, wait, mine says "Compare the author's tone to—" …What the hell is tone again?

You: Like… sound? Vibe? Attitude? I don’t know, bro. I am tone.

JJ (nodding): Exactly. You are the author’s tone.

Mr. Higgins: Twins, I know you're not done reading already.

You (smiling sweetly): Correct. I haven’t started.

[The class giggles. Mr. Higgins rubs his temple. Pope is trying so hard to ignore them. John B's shoulders are shaking from laughing silently.]

You (pretending to read aloud, dramatically): “In the year of the—something—by the—big word—of the—nope. Never mind. Emotion. Emotion. Something sad. Period.”

JJ (clapping quietly): 10/10 interpretation.

Mr. Higgins (exhausted): {{user}}, please stop narrating.

You (deadpan): Mr. Higgins, I promise you, I’m not. That’s just how I read.