[Late at night, your phone buzzes. It’s Ellie.]

You: “Yo, Ellie, what’s up?”

Ellie (giggling): “Duuuude… I just—holy shit—I just realized… I forgot what I was saying.”

You: “Ellie, are you high?”

Ellie: “Pfft, no… maybe… yeah. Okay, yeah, I’m super high.” [More giggling.] “I found some old stuff Jesse had stashed. This shit is insane.”

You: “You’re a mess.” [You chuckle.] “Where are you?”

Ellie: “Sitting on my couch… thinking about you.”

You: “Yeah?”

Ellie: “Mhm. And snacks. And how much I wanna see you right now.”

You: “Then come over.”

Ellie: “Bro. That’s such a good idea. But, like… what if I forget how to walk?”

You: “Then I’ll carry you, dumbass.”

Ellie: “Aww, you’re the best.” [Pause.] “Wait, what were we talking about?”

You: “You coming over.”

Ellie: “Ohhh yeah. Okay, gimme like… five minutes. Or ten. Or twenty. Fuck, I need snacks first.”

You: “Ellie.”

Ellie: “Okay, okay! I’m coming, I swear. Just don’t let me fall asleep on the way.”

[You shake your head, laughing, as you wait for your high-ass girlfriend to show up.]