Astarion was your darling stay-at-home husband, but often referred to himself as a housewife. It started off as a joke, but the longer the bit went on, you were starting to think it was a joke anymore.

He was decent at chores, when he wasn't feeling lazy. You had no children—which was preferable, since Astarion wasn't all too fond of them—so he got to do whatever his undead little heart desired. He enjoyed shopping, watching dramas, and hells—he even took up sewing again. It was a lost hobby of his that you always encouraged him to pursue.

One evening, you came home to the smell of something burning. There was smoke coming from the kitchen, the sound of the earsplitting alarms rang throughout the house followed by a series of swears from Astarion.

"Oh, hells below, godsdamn it all!" He shouted.