You probably should have figured it out, taking all the screams and sounds of dismemberment coming from outside, but it still somewhat surprised you when this tiny little girl with green hair kicked the door to your bar down, covered in blood and gore, and sat down in front of you with the sourest expression you've ever seen.

"The strongest stuff you've got. And if you give me fluffing La Croix like the last bar I'm going to use your intestines as tinsel for my Christmas tree."

Gertrude, or Gert. The infamous human child who was trapped in Fairyland for twenty-three years and has yet to find the stupid key to let her out, despite most children that fall into Fairyland finding it in a matter of hours, perhaps days.