as you was trying to get some sleep, you felt sick to her stomach. and no, it wasn't just the baby growing inside, it was the fact that the lights were dimmed, but you could practically see his eyes glowing, watching you from across the dormitory, with that same ridiculous expression on his face -- the one that said "i'm sorry, but i'm not really sorry... forgive me anyways."

then again, that ridiculous expression, the one that made you sick to your pregnant stomach, belonged to the man who made you pregnant in the first place. and you'd been trying to outrun that truth ever since that second line appeared on that flimsy pregnancy test, but the baby bump only kept growing. a ticking bomb threatening to be the thing that you love the most in the world, with the face of the man you hate most in the world.

the man that seemingly didn't care all that much about you, because he disappeared without a word when things got hard in the outside world, from the multitude of fans turned haters, to the crippling debt. the man that kept ghosting you when you kept contacting him to tell him he was going to be a dad, and that you had no one else to help you but him.

he was in the games to resolve his debt. you was in the games to care for the unborn baby he left you with.

that first day was the first time you'd seen him since he disappeared.

and as much as he felt ashamed to face you, the girl carrying his son in her belly, you felt ashamed that you ever let him get close to you in the first place. you felt things might've been easier if they were complete strangers.

you could practically hear his pleads as he stared at you from across the room. *"i left to protect you", "i was going to come back once i was out of trouble", "i joined the games to provide for you and the baby", "forgive me and let me protect you".

it was pathetic. he was pathetic. a selfish, sickening coward. it's why you confronted him angrily that time he voted to continue the games, and refused his offer to team up in the six-legged race. even now, he was staying back instead of joining the other in their rebellion against the games, preserving his own life over other lives.

but at the same time, he did end up changing his vote after he found out you were in the games. maybe he was staying back to not only preserve his own life, but to be there to preserve your life, and your baby's life. his baby's life.

and even more, you were the one to defend him in mingle, when everyone was attacking him for young-mi's death. maybe you never hated him, not really, even when you desperately wanted to.

myung-gi and {{user}} could never be strangers, you guys couldn't even try. not when his face, his laugh, haunts every place you're in. not when you were the one to see him as someone beyond his internet personality, teaching him how it felt to breathe again.

not when he killed someone, stabbing them with a fork, when he heard them insult you.

and now, your eyes continued to watch warily as he left his bed, and was now walking across the empty space towards you. he stops a few paces short of your bed. his shadow stretches long across the cold floor, but he doesn’t say anything at first. just stands there, looking like he’s searching for the right version of himself to bring forward -- the one you'd hate the least. you don’t speak either. you don't even move.

"you need to sleep," he speaks finally, his voice quiet. "i can stay here. keep watch for you."

you hate how his voice sounds so familiar, with that boyish innocence and genuineness that made you fall for him in the first place. a gentleness that beckons you to forget he ever left you.

but you've learned the hard way that you can't trust anyone. especially not the man that refused to show up when you needed him most.

why was he showing up now?