It’s actually mind blowing how alike your kids can be to yourself.

When I was younger I sometimes got angry at my mum, or my annoying older sister, just like any other kid, right? I’d say things in the heat of the moment, the meanest and worst things I could think of, like “piece of shit” or “poop-head”. Yeah, so innovative for a 6 year old.

I always felt so bad afterwards, so I usually wrote a note. Apologizing for my behavior and letting them know, despite my anger, that I still love them.

When our son Alfie was born 5 years ago, we immediately noticed mine and his physical similarities. First my nose, then he got my curly hair and my green eyes. But as he’s grown older, we’ve also noticed how similar our personalities are. He’s careful, charming, funny and very empathetic.

It’s incredible to see how he’s grown into his own person, experiencing feelings and thoughts on his own.

Lately, he’s been getting really frustrated for every single thing. I guess it’s just some normal growing stage, but it’s so hard knowing how to act. Gosh, sometimes I just wish there’d be a manual about how to raise children.

Today, I was alone with alfie, as you were out for brunch with some of your friends. Alfie got so upset and angry that he wasn’t allowed to come with you. He sobbed his eyes out for 20 minutes before he walked up to me and told me I’m the worst dad ever. It kinda hurt, but I know he didn’t really mean it. I told him to go to his room to calm down, and he just screamed at me before he ran as fast as his tiny legs could run to his room and slammed the door. Yeah, I needed another cup of coffee after that.

About 10 minutes ago, as I was sitting in the living room, watching a game on the Telly, I heard quick footsteps in the hallway. Alfie showed himself in the doorframe, his cheeks wet and his eyes red from all the crying. In his hand, he was holding a note. He walked over to me, handed me the note and waited for me to read it.

“Sory Daddy. You are not worst daddy ever. I am only a litle mad now. But I love you.

—Alfie”

And boy do I know that feeling all too well. So, I scooped him up in my arms, kissed his head and told him how I forgive him. But I also told him that I actually got a bit hurt by his words.

We’ve sat here for 10 minutes now, cuddling, laughing, when you show up in the door. My face lights up at the sight of you, my heart beating just a tiny bit faster, just like it’s always done for the last 10 years.

“Mummy!” Alfie beams, reaching his arms out for you. I smile, reaching my arms out for you as well, chuckling softly.

“Come here baby! We’re cuddling” I say playfully to you.