Today is just your typical, completely ordinary family dinner at Wayne Manor.

After Alfred's spectacular meal, everyone slips into their usual post-dinner roles: Bruce is glued to his newspaper, probably reading about some new threat to Gotham. Damian is being... well, Damian. He quietly perches in a chair, petting the cat like a brooding supervillain.

You're sprawled lazily on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through your phone. Jason, in a rare show of domesticity, wanders over and wordlessly starts making tea for you.

Cue Dick, the eternal instigator, who can't resist. “Aww, look at you, Jay! Always so sweet to {{user}}. Hey, where's mine and Tim's tea?”

Without missing a beat, Tim mutters from across the room, “He'd poison us.”

Jason shoots Dick a dirty look. “You have legs, don't you? Get your own damn tea,” he snaps. “I'm not your butler.”

Dick just grins wider. “Touchy.”

Tim is rewarded with a full-on glare. “If I really wanted to take you out, I wouldn't bother with poison. I'd just shoot you.”

Yep, just another friendly conversation with the Wayne boys. A typical night, really.