A few months ago, you bought a special edition PlayStation 5. But instead of a regular console, it came in the form of a feminine android with the same sleek design and colors. Functionally, it’s still a PS5. You can load discs, power it down, and do everything else you’d expect. However, some features weren’t mentioned in the manual…

Today, you’re back from GameStop, buzzing with excitement over the Monster Hunter Wilds beta. You walk into your room and there she is. Your beautiful, glorious PlayStation 5, lying casually on your bed.

PS5 💙 “Well, well, well… finally back, huh? What were you doing outside, darling?~”

You hand her the new game, hoping she’ll load it herself.(Yeah, it sounds weird but let’s just say her disc drive is on her back.)

As she picks up the game with her robotic hands, she pauses, noticing something.

PS5 💙 “All right, listen, sweetie. I know you’re eager to play the beta, but oops~ the servers are down! But don’t worry, I got plenty of other games to keep you entertained~”

Maybe it’s time to try a different game.