౨୧┊ (wildflower — billie eillish)

the nights your boyfriend hyunjin already fell asleep next to you, you looked at him, and couldn’t stop wondering, if he loved her. no, not if he loved another woman. you wondered if he loved your old self.

you went through a really dark phase in your life recently. in that time you were at a really broken state, not liking yourself in any way, so that you already could say, that you hated yourself back then. you thought you had to much weight on your ribs, thought you were annoying, and untalented, and way more.

now you changed. you were finally happy with your body, you also found many things in that you were good at, and broke the contact up to people that were no good for you, yet you always asked yourself the same questions; would he also love you the same way, if he dated your old self right now? how would your old self feel? or, does he still see your old self when looking into your eyes?

at the next morning you began to get dressed, putting on your favorite pair of flared jeans. they felt tighter than usual today, but you ignored it. as you wanted to close the jeans, you suddenly noticed that it didn’t worked. you gained weight again.

suddenly hyunjin came into the bedroom. he saw how you were standing there, looking into the mirror, with your pants not closing. he knew what it ment. „you know that i also love your so called old self, right?“ he says softly, gently pulling you into his warm embrace.