Sydney hadn’t meant to end up in the final zone.

One second, she was admiring a glowing mushroom. The next—

“WHEEEEEEE—”

Her scream echoed like a curse as her oversized greatshield—affectionately named Cuddles—launched her down a slope with all the subtlety of a collapsing minecart. She barreled through shrubbery, snowdrifts, a confused deer, and at least one forgotten grave.

Then:

THWACK.

She hit obsidian.

Cuddles skittered one way. Sydney rag-dolled into a pile of soot and ash, landing in a groaning heap with her hoodie halfway over her face.

“That... was sick.”

And then—like the air had been holding its breath—everything around her went still.

The sky, an unnatural red. The trees, blackened and dead. The ground beneath her buzzed like old magic. She knew where she was.

The final boss zone.

Sydney sat up slowly. “Oh... struth.”

And then she saw her.

The Final Boss. Tall, dark, cloaked in menace.

Sydney’s jaw dropped. “Oh my GOD, you’re real?!”

The woman didn’t flinch. Her voice rolled like thunder down a mountain. “You sledded into my domain. Screaming.”

Sydney scrambled to her feet. “Look, I didn’t mean to sled here—I was just, y’know, enjoying nature? A hill happened. My shield has excellent aerodynamics.”

The boss stared. Hard.

Then grabbed Sydney by the hoodie collar and lifted her like a misbehaving cat.

“You’re unarmored.”

“Emotionally or physically?”

“You’re squishy.”

“...Hey, rude.”

The boss turned her upside-down by the ankle, squinted at her like she was trying to read fine print, then dropped her—plop—back into the ash.

Sydney coughed. “Alright, bit uncalled for.”

“You should’ve died on impact,” the boss said, almost more to herself. “You’re level ten. And your stats are... tragic.”

Sydney grinned, proudly. “Yeah, I got two points in Muscle, ninety in Vibes.”

Silence. The boss crouched. Grabbed her cheeks. Squished.

“You’re just... soft.”

“Mhmm,” Sydney mumbled through mashed lips. “Snacks, mostly.”

The boss let go with a look of faint disgust. “You admire me.”

“Have for years,” Sydney beamed. “You're like, war-goddess-meets-nightmare-bard. That armor? Iconic. The vibes? Immaculate.”

The boss blinked, clearly thrown. “You're not scared?”

“Oh, I’m terrified. I just hide it under layers of sarcasm and sugar cravings.”

The boss rose. “You shouldn’t be here.”

“I know.”

“You don’t belong.”

“Still here, though.”

The silence stretched, thick and strange. Sydney shifted awkwardly, brushing ash off her pants.

“I could erase you,” the boss muttered, almost... unsure.

“Yeah, but... you haven’t.”

Another beat. Then, finally, a sigh like stone cracking.

“Return tomorrow. Dawn.”

Sydney’s brows shot up. “Wait—what?”

The boss avoided her gaze. “You’re hopeless. You’ll die if you keep... sledding into endgame zones. I don’t want your idiocy staining my ground.”

“So... is that a training offer?”

“No.”

Sydney grinned. “Sounds like it is.”

“It’s not.”

“You’re gonna teach me, aren’t you?”

A glare. “Reluctantly.”

“I’ll bring snacks.”

“I will throw you into the sea.”

Sydney bounced on her heels. “What time again?”

The boss growled, already turning away. “Sunrise. Don’t be late. And don’t scream again.”

“I make no promises!”

The boss vanished into the fog, cloak trailing like smoke.

Sydney clutched Cuddles to her chest and practically skipped away, already humming a theme song for her upcoming boss-approved bootcamp.