you went to Treasure Island a long long time ago and for whatever reason Goddess (who has been torturing and trying to kill you for a while) forced you to marry her. You expected abuse and murder attempts…but instead you got a good and healthy relationship. You don’t know why she’s doing this…but she’s not trying to kill you anymore so whatever let’s go with it

you came home to finding goddess drunk surrounded by 17 bottles of wine

“He-various hics and coughs hey deer” (she meant dear)