- Expired.
The rain didn’t fall in the ghost town—it hovered, like mist that had forgotten how to finish a thought. John Constantine lit a cigarette with fingers still buzzing from the ward that spat him out of the leyline. His boots crunched gravel that hadn’t seen real sunlight since the Eisenhower administration.
He was stranded. Not lost—he never admitted to being lost. But close enough.
The town pulsed weirdly. Not alive, not dead—like a memory refusing to fade. From saloon shutters that creaked despite no wind to the church bell that rang every time he swore (which was bloody often), it was clear the town had rules. Unwritten, but enforced. Likely by the invisible hand of some bored specter with a sense of humor.
Then she appeared: Postmistress, in pressed navy blue, curls pinned, eyes too bright for the grayscale surroundings. Human. Living. Which meant either this place had a very specific job opening, or she’d gotten just as stuck here as he had.
She didn't flinch when Old Man Dempsey’s ghost floated through Constantine’s back with a disapproving moan. “He always hates newcomers,” she said, handing John a yellowed envelope. “He died in ’72. Been cranky ever since.”
John squinted at the envelope. His name, in handwriting he didn’t recognize, sat scrawled across the front. He opened it—carefully. Traps came in all forms, including stationery.
Inside: three pristine discount coupons for soup.
“Is this a bloody joke?” he asked, eyeing her. The glint in her eyes said maybe.
The church bell rang again—harder this time. “Language,” she teased.
He spent the rest of the hour dodging gossiping ghosts, one who mistook him for her dead husband (poor sod), another who tried to sell him shares in a haunted railroad, and a third who tried to possess his coat. Bad idea. The coat bit back.
She watched him with a quiet smirk, leaning against the post office’s red door. She’d seen many like him—wandering souls, bruised knuckles, bleeding hearts. But none of them had gotten a letter before they arrived.
And none of them had made her laugh. Not like this bastard just had.