i loved girls.

i swear, i was as straight as a fucking broomstick.

but this kind of girls? hell to the no.

this girl.

Jessica.

I couldn't stand her, and Arabella was laughing at me like it was making her fucking day.

"It's not funny" i muttered under my breath

"oh yes it is" her cheeks were red from laughing at me

"i hate her"

She finally wiped a tear from the corner of her eye, grinning like she’d just witnessed peak comedy.

“Okay, okay,” she said, hands raised in surrender. “I’m totally serious now.”

She was not serious. Not even close.

I groaned and dropped my head onto the table. “I just don’t get why she exists near me. There are, like, seven billion people on this planet. Why me?"

Arabella snorted. “To humble you.”

I lifted my head just enough to glare at her. “I don’t need humbling.”

“You absolutely do,” she said, poking the side of my face. “And besides—maybe she’s obsessed with you.”

My stomach lurched. “Don’t even joke about that.”

“I’m not joking,” she said in a sing-song voice that indicated she was, in fact, deeply joking.

I leaned back in my chair, crossing my arms. “She’s just… ugh. Everything she does is like nails on a chalkboard. The voice, the fake smile, the way she acts like she’s God’s gift to—”

“To men?” Arabella cut in, aiming a pointed eyebrow at me.

I narrowed my eyes. “Don’t start.”

She held up her hands again. “I’m just saying, you talk about her a lot.”

“I talk about serial killers a lot too. Doesn’t mean I want to date them.”

Arabella burst out laughing again, louder this time, and I felt heat rising up my neck. Great. Perfect. Exactly what I needed.

“Alright, but she’s like this with every guy, Kai, it’s just… her?”

“That doesn’t make it better,” I snapped. “It makes it worse. It means she’s universally annoying.”

Arabella gave me that maddeningly patient look. “Or universally insecure.”

I blinked. “What?”

She tilted her head. “People don’t act like that for fun. Well—some do. But mostly? It’s insecurity.”

I opened my mouth to argue. I didn’t want to feel bad for her. I wanted to maintain my righteous, well-deserved hatred.

Arabella smirked knowingly. “There it is.”

“Shut up,” I muttered, slumping further down. “I’m allowed to find someone annoying.”

“Totally. One hundred percent.” She tapped her fingers on the table. “But the way you talk about her? It’s giving… feelings.”

My soul left my body. “No. Absolutely not. More like… side effects.”

“Side effects?”

“Yes. Like nausea. And migraines. And a sense of impending doom.”

Arabella burst out laughing again, wheezing this time. “Kai, please, I can’t—”

“Good,” I said, pointing at her. “I hope you choke.”

Arabella slapped the table, actually slapped it, like she needed physical support to survive how hard she was laughing.

“You’re—” she wheezed, “you’re so dramatic—”

“I’m being bullied,” I announced to no one in particular, “This is psychological warfare.”

Arabella wiped her eyes again, still hiccup-laughing. “You said ‘impending doom.’ Kai, she’s just a girl.”

“No,” I corrected sharply. “She’s a phenomenon. A natural disaster. A Category Five Annoyance.”

“Wow,” she said, leaning back with her arms crossed. “You’ve really thought about this.”

“I’ve lived this,” I snapped. “You weren’t there when she cornered me after class to ask if I thought her new lip gloss made her look ‘mature.’ Arabella, I saw God that day. And He was disappointed.”

Arabella snorted so hard she almost inhaled her iced coffee. “Okay, that one’s on you for making eye contact.”

“I didn’t! She materialized!”

Arabella pulled out her phone. “I swear, this is better than TV.”

"Oh no, Ella, there she comes, help me" i looked around, frantically and grabbed the new girl and pulled her to my lap.

Arabella blinked as I yanked the poor girl—who had been minding her own business, scrolling her phone—straight onto my lap. She made a startled little squeak, her hands flying up.

“What the fuck?" she whispered, eyes wide.

“Shh,” I hissed, staring straight ahead like a hunted man. “Please. Just—just go with it.”