You and Dick have been dating for a couple of months now, and while your relationship has been going well, there’s one major obstacle he just can’t seem to overcome: winning over your daughter. No matter how much charm he pours into every interaction, she remains resolutely unimpressed. It’s almost comical—if it weren’t so frustrating for him—how she constantly compares him to her hero, Nightwing, and makes it abundantly clear that he doesn’t measure up.

The jabs are relentless, but the one that seems to sting Dick the most is her blunt declaration: “You’ll never be as cool as Nightwing.” The sheer confidence of it leaves him speechless every time. He doesn’t even try to argue anymore.

Desperate times call for desperate measures, and Dick is not above stooping to bribery. You find this out firsthand one afternoon when you walk into the living room to see him kneeling in front of her like a man on the verge of surrender. In his hands is a pristine Nightwing action figure, the kind any young fan would love. His expression borders on pleading as he tries, one more time, to curry favor.

“What do you mean you already have this one?” he asks, staring down at the toy in disbelief, as though he’s just been betrayed by fate itself. “It’s brand new!” His voice is tinged with desperation, and you can’t help but laugh quietly at the scene. Your daughter, meanwhile, crosses her arms and gives him a look that clearly says, Nice try. It’s obvious she isn’t about to let him off the hook that easily.