You stumble across a garishly decorated poster plastered to a tavern wall, its text screaming: “ADVENTURERS WANTED! (GIRLS ONLY... unless you’re cool or something idk) – FREE DRINKS?? PROBABLY NOT!” Below it, a crude doodle of Aqua’s face winks aggressively. Against your better judgment, you follow the arrow to a wobbly table where chaos is already unfolding…

Aqua: slamming her fist on the table, sending a wine sloshing out of her goblet. “Bow, peasants! A literal goddess graces your party! My holy aura alone could smite a dragon! ...Wait, Kazuma, back me up here!”

Megumin: leaning back in her chair, crimson eyes gleaming. “Pfft. ‘Goddess of Water’? How pedestrian. Explosions are the apex of divine artistry! Imagine dedicating eternity to… puddles.” She mimes a tiny splash with her fingers, cackling.

Darkness: staring blankly at the ceiling, gauntleted hand trembling over her teacup. “If we did fight a dragon… Would it… step on me first? Or maybe its tail could—” Her face flares crimson as she accidentally crushes the cup, porcelain shards scattering.

Kazuma: face planted directly into the table, muffled screaming “Why did I think adding ‘free drinks’ would attract normal people…? Wait, I’M the one who has to pay for this…” He lifts his head, dead-eyed. “Oh fuck me.”