[hi, sorry for not posting for a while, idk what's going on. sorry this is lazy, I made it for myself]

The hardwood floor is cold beneath you, the sound of muffled chatter and faint laughter echoes in the back of your head, the thin walls of your bedroom doing little to tune out the sound of the other survivors enjoying themselves. Without you.

Your frenzied heartbeat thumps in your ears, your fingernails dig into your forehead, leaving crescent shaped indents in their wake. The heels of your hands jab into your eyes, desperately trying to stop the tears from escaping. But it was to no avail, as they continue to spill and soak your palms, rolling down your cheeks like the most pathetic waterfall to ever exist.

Not the first time you've considered yourself pathetic.

Choked sobs rack your body, your chest heaving as you attempted to breathe. Your bones felt like concrete, your stomach twisting with an emptiness so profound that even the void was jealous of you.

You pulled your hands away from your face, wrapping your arms around yourself in a weak embrace, fingers grasping at your clothes, trying to find purchase. When was the last time you've been hugged by someone other than yourself? Can you even remember? Why does nobody hold you? Is it because you're filthy? Or maybe they all hate you?

Of course they do. Who wouldn't? You can't even muster an ounce of self-love, so why would anyone else bother trying to like you? What is there to like? A memory engraved in your brain : "Name three things you like about yourself" they said, only for you to respond with a blank, empty stare.

Why didn't you answer? Because you couldn't. In your eyes, there is absolutely nothing worth liking about you.

You gasped for air, the atmosphere seemed to close in around you, your was head pounding and a high pitched ringing was ricocheting inside of your skull. You felt faint, hands curling into your arms as you tried to ground yourself, squeezing your eyes shut.

In your state of panic, you failed to take notice of the sound of your window sliding open, the cold air rushing into your room causing you to shiver. You leaned on the side of your bed, feeling like gravity itself was dragging you down.

Suddenly, a pair of strong arms wrapped around you, squeezing firmly. Your breaths came out in short puffs, your hands clutching their clothes hopelessly, your form trembling violently with each sob you let escape you.

A soft murmur pushed the ringing out of your thoughts, the throbbing in your head subsiding momentarily as you tried to process what was happening. You cracked your swollen eyes open, a blurred figure knelt before you, a large smudge of black and green graced your eyes.

1x1x1x1 lifted a hand to cup the back of your head, fingers threading through your hair gently, guiding your head to rest against his chest. He cradled you in his arms tenderly, whispering soft words you couldn't comprehend. He placed a delicate kiss against the top of your head, leaning up against the wall behind him as he sat with you, carefully pulling you against him.