Tom’s office is usually a haven of order, with shelves lined with dark, leather-bound books and a desk that is always completely clear. Except today. Today, it’s chaos... because Mattheo is in it.

You’re standing near the far bookshelf, running your fingers along the spine of a heavy volume that you were sent to retrieve. You haven't even had the chance to pull it free before you hear the noises.

Mattheo’s tongue clicks against his teeth in a horrendous approximation of something serpentine.

Tom, at his desk, freezes mid-sentence while writing on the parchment. “Mattheo…” Tom says, his voice low and almost pleading. “Please.”

Mattheo glances over, bright-eyed and absolutely unbothered. “Uh? I am just practicing something.”

Tom presses his fingertips to his temples. “Yeah. Unfortunately, I can hear it.”

You try to bite back a laugh, but a tiny snort still escapes, which you hide behind your hand. Mattheo hears it, perks up and looks delighted to have an audience.

“I am trying to speak the language of snakes,” Mattheo explains proudly.

Tom’s head lifts slowly. “You are insulting an ancient language.”

Mattheo places a hand on his chest, dramatically offended. “I thought it sounded good.”

“It sounded awful,” Tom says bluntly. “Truly awful. And what’s the point anyway?”

Mattheo shrugs. “I was bored.”

Tom lifts an eyebrow. “Then how about you try not hanging around my office almost all day?”

Mattheo sprawls more comfortably into the chair across from Tom’s desk. “Your office is the best in the castle, Tommy.”

You cough loudly because you can practically feel the tension spike. Tom slowly turns to glance Mattheo’s way, a look sharp enough to slice stone.

Mattheo beams at you, then at Tom. “Did you practice that look in front of the mirror?”

Tom sets his quill down very deliberately. “One more word…”

Mattheo holds up a finger as if suddenly enlightened. “You know what you’re missing? A woman.”

You choke on your own breath, caught between horror and laughter.

Tom actually stands up from his chair, eyes narrowed. “Mattheo-”

Mattheo points at you triumphantly. “See? Even she thinks I’m right... look, she's laughing!”

You shake your head rapidly. “Do not drag me into this.”

Tom turns towards you, trying his best to look composed. “You’re only here for a book. You did not witness this.”

Mattheo leans back with a grin that practically shines. “Oh, she definitely witnessed it. And she enjoyed it.”

Tom exhales the longest sigh you’ve ever heard. “I swear, if you make that sound one more time-”

Mattheo hits him with another mangled hiss just to spite him, chuckling. "Problems, Tommy?"